August (Him)

Fun. That's pretty much all I can remember. My friends surronding me on the deck, on the boat, in the water. Laughs, smiles; only faded memories now. Why does my brain forbid me to remember? I miss them dearly. My friends, family, even teachers. Everything I knew is gone.
I didn't cry as we drove away from that small Minnesota town. It isn't untill today that the tears finally flow.
I wasn't me back them. I was 'Him' the kind friend. The one you could talk to. But that's not how I define myself. I was an empty shell back then. Scared. And my friends suffered from it, unknowing, but they suffered. I hulled myself up in my house, lying to get out of meeting them. Scared and stupid.
Now I regret the time I didn't spend with them. I would give life and limb just to see their faces, to touch them, one more time. I'd do anything.
But then I was driving through the 7 states, on my way here, with not a single thought on my brain. Until today.